trick or treat
by bibi 13ca
Summary: A short one shot that you will hopefully find entertaining. My first attempt to a parody. Characters: Elena G, Damon S, Caroline F, Alaric S and Tyler L


**N:**_This __is __more __like, __my __way __of __mocking __certain __aspects __from __The __Vampire __Diaries, __because __I __find __some __things __in __there __that __are __actually __funny. __I __don__'__t __own __anything __and __don__'__t __mean __to o__ffend __anyone __or __any__**thing, **__just __having __some __fun __of __my __own, __thought __I__'__d __share._

**O**_k, __this __is __my __very __first __time __writing __something __like __this__(so __different __from __what __I __usually __go __for). __I __wrote __this __a __few __days __ago, __but __didn__'__t __have __the __courage __to __post __it__… __finally, __I __said: __the __hell __with__it, __what__'__s __the __worst __that __can __happen?__You__don__'__t__like__it__and__I__pretend__I__never__did__it__and__I__never__do__it__again._

_Please **do** leave your honest opinion about it, don't be scared to hurt my feelings (I'm a vampire and I can turn it off – joking, lol)._

**Trick or treat**

Alaric, Caroline, Tyler, Elena and Damon were all in the Salvatore's living room and Damon was still wondering what were they all doing in his house. The answer came from the blonde vampire.

"I know my dad tortured me and all, but did you really had do bite him?" she asked, "you got blood on his new shirt and I paid, like, 60$ on sale," she complained and Damon rolled his eyes.

"I'll buy him a new one."

"Seriously Damon you can go around chewing on people…half of Mystic Falls has bite marks on their necks, it looks suspicious, Alaric pointed out.

"Hello, people, I AM a vampire!" Damon shouted and everyone's attention was on him.

"But you don't have to act like one. Here in MF every vampire becomes human with pointy teeth." Elena said walking towards him.

"Then what's the damn point?"

"You can make fog and compel crows…" she offered happily.

"I can't do that anymore cos' the writers decided I need to stop doing it; just like that."

"Really; why? I thought it was kind of scary. You got me there in the grave yard…" she pointed a finger at him.

"Really?"

"Swear to God, scared the crap out of me; why stop that?"

"Don't know, really; people thought it wasn't cool. Kind of like your relationship with Stefan, but for some reason they kept that…" he chose to look around like he was looking for something or someone just to avoid her gaze.

"You get super speed and…hey my relationship with Stefan's not uncool!"

"Not now," Damon said *big eye acting moment*

"You're just sayin' that cos' I won't sleep with you and pretend there's not A TON of sexual tension between us when actually all I real leant is to jump your bones. Was my relationship with Stefan bad, guys?" Elena asked looking around.

"Can I go now, this isn't really my thing?" Tyler asked standing up from the couch next to Caroline.

"Sit!" Elena shouted and Tyler took a seat back on the couch. "Good boy," Elena said giving him some treats from her pocket. "So…Caroline…" she pushed, clearly expecting an answer.

"Well…remember when I tried to break you two up and told you Katherine made me do it?" Elena nodded, "that was actually me…" Caroline finished looking at the floor in embarrassment.

"Ric?" Elena asked looking in Alaric's direction.

"I…uh…well…how do I put this…man, you two bore ME, the boring history teacher!" Alaric said looking relived, like a bog weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"You guys don't know what it's like to in a relationship… now, back to you," she turned to face Damon again. "Like I said, you have super speed; that should be nice."

"I don't even use that! Have you _seen_ my car?" he said proudly.

"Well maybe you should, just so you get to feel like a real vampire, by running around at supernatural speed; this can be really handy when you're stuck in traffic and need to go pee."

"Well, I have to drink, BLOOD in order for me to pee!"

"Damon!" *the face Elena has every time she's shouting Damon's name and she's annoyed with him*

"But real vampires kill people..."

"Not in The Vampire Diaries they don't...only the bad ones, and they get punished…or they should…"

"But Stefan gets to do it, no fair."

"Stefan's not himself right now, we can really blame him…he is the hero; plus he has the right, he's protecting the TWO of us while killing TONES of innocent people. He is a bad, bad vampire now, drinking a lot of blood and getting his fangs all bloody," *passes her hand through her hair* "and his body will probably get all sweaty," *she caresses her neck* "and he'll have to get off his t-shirt…" Elena moaned softly, then stopped and looked around. *crick-crick*

"But..." Damon started, but Elena cut him off.

"I said no, now be a good little vampire and get a blood bag!"

**N**: _This __is __it __*bites __nails* __be __really __nice __and __review __(even __if __it__'__s __to __tell __me __I __suck __at __this)!_


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